When I christened this blog, I invited all of you to join us, to witness our rebirth. I said we were dropping new roots, quasi-starting over. I asked you to grow with us, but planted faulty seeds of expectation on two levels: 1) I don’t believe in the concept of starting over, and 2) I’ve watered religiously, expanded every which way, although I’ve grown faster than I’ve managed to harvest or share. And the produce has been bountiful. We’ve covered a lot of ground, and we’re searching for the perfect place to settle in.
If there’s one thing I’ve picked up from Sproutie, it’s all about placement and tenacity. You can’t be too careful about choosing your location. When you finally uncover that opportunistic spot, you have to dig in, stand tall, decide what you’ll reap in that moment, and keep sowing until you get it. It doesn’t matter how long you have to wait. If you’re standing in the right place, at the right time, with the right amount of patience, those treats will rain down on you.
Now, we both have a few things to learn about etiquette, and I’m sure you can guess which one of us is more resourceful. In fairness, Sproutie’s been practicing her patience and I’ve been beefing up my bark. We make a good Pack of Two when it’s us against the World, but we could stand to be clearer on who’s leading whom.
One conclusion I’ve come to is we’re NEVER really starting over. We can stumble, we can move past unsuccessful ventures or detours. We can unload the burden of guilt or uncertainty. We can make restitution for our wrongs, and even change up the plot. It’s our story – we decide how to spin it – but we can’t start over. Not ever again. Every choice, every gain, every loss, becomes an integral part of our very being. We can change perspective, redirect, give new meaning to logistics – but we can’t start over.
When I’m being mindful, I tend to garden on the edge of grace. Muddied forgiveness maybe – or maternal acceptance. We’ve been warned about the hazards of inclement weather, been counseled that growth forms on a multitude of surfaces, in all directions, yet we struggle with climate change. We deny ourselves accolades when we slip or stagnate. We won’t rest or test our footing on softer terrain. We don’t tolerate faults in our foundation or grant reprieve for persistence. It’s all punitive by nature. We stop moving, abandon our efforts, and any remnants of progress are left to erode or wash away. We’ve failed to gain traction, so we give up our place and turn back, under the guise of beginning again. So much for tenacity. What happened to patience? Forgiveness? Acceptance? We claim to grant ourselves a second chance, but it’s simply not true.
And if you’re like me, it helps to level the ground once in a while, to kick up some dirt. If you’re like me, maybe you’re inspired by a perfectly unmarred frontier. Maybe steadfast commitment makes you nervous, and you fear the narrowing of the path. In that case, keep plowing ahead. There’s no need to atone for where you’ve already been – there’s only hope in where you’ll go from here. Keep going. Do what’s in your heart without judgement or undue explanation. Do. Do again. And keep doing until you can’t deny your progress. Give yourself credit for beginning, and then doing, and doing some more. This is your life – all of it. Plant your soul in the soil and let it thrive.
As for me, I’m on my way. Our Pack is your Pack, if you care to join us. We’re stronger in numbers, so welcome to our anything BUT linear trajectory. Wherever you are, you’re in the right place. You’ll just have to catch up, because we’re not starting over. – 🌱L.
🐾🌱 Stand Up & SPROUT! 🌱🐾 